Bootcamp bullshit

There is this "company" called Groupon and they post daily deals on their site where you can buy a coupon or "groupon" and get a really good deal on different things. Like once I bought one for $10 and it was for $20 gift card at a bakery that I love. I kind of got screwed with that deal and there was this stupid stipulation where you had to use the whole thing at once. I like their cupcakes and I didn't freaking need $20 in damn cupcakes! Sooo I had to wait for a birthday party and then I used it all for a ton of cupcakes. I was not a happy customer stupid Groupon assholes.

About 2 weeks ago I ran across a deal they were doing for a BOOT CAMP. It was regularly $209 and they were charging $35. My smart side said "Heather don't do it! These people are totally thieving whores!" But my fat jiggly ass said "Heather, I need boot camp! I want to be nice and tight and have people bouncing quarters off of me!" So I listened to my talking butt cheeks.

After they gladly accepted your hard earned money they gave you a long number which is what you needed to reference when you called BCOR FITNESS to reserve your spot in the first session. I called BCOR and it kept going to a voice mail.I called about 10 times and the same thing happened over and over. It rang and rang and then went to a voice mail. FINALLY my friend and I were able to get someone on the other end. This lady answered, took my registration number, and told me the next available start date was 9/6/2011 and then she told me about 5 different times that I could attend. I chose 6 PM. She said the "instructor" wants everyone to be there a little early and they want you to bring a water bottle and a towel.

I was seriously so excited for this boot camp. Did I mention it was a 6 week unlimited boot camp? So, according to the schedule online I could go Monday-Thursday every day at 5 pm if I wanted to. Which I did. I wanted to experience this:

I wanted someone screaming egging me on to do more and saying stuff like "come on you pussy!" I really need that motivation during workouts. I wanted to have my ass completely handed to me.

About two weeks after I bought this once in a lifetime awesome deal scam, I got off work, excitedly went home to change into my gym clothes, and drove to the address I was given for the camp. I noticed right away something was amiss! Amiss I say! It was this tiny tiny gym in a effing mini mall. No grassy area in site. No signs. I was going to get to the bottom of this one way or another. I walked up to the door and pulled on it and it was locked. Some scrawny dude came to the door and I asked him if this was the boot camp. He seemed really confused and unsure of things and he said something to the effect of "yeahhh....sure.... well kind of..." Here is what I found out:

1. The gym had no idea about this "deal" Groupon thing until about a week ago.
2. They were honoring the coupons even though they didn't know about it
3. I highly doubt they were getting compensated for this
4. There was absolutely no room in that gym to hold a boot camp
5. I was not getting a free BCor Fitness t-shirt
6. There was no "friendly drill instructor"
7. The gym could "schedule a time for us to come in and meet with one of the only two trainers that worked there"
8. I looked stronger than the trainer
9. The trainer would just walk us around the gym doing machines and stuff in groups of 4.
10. I was not the only one who fell for this bull shit and you do not want a bunch of angry women surrounding you
11. The schedule online was crap. There was no schedule, no boot camp, no drill instructor, no nothing.

I was incredibly mad. No I was livid. Insanely livid. Groupon took my $70 2 weeks ago with the promise of a boot camp and I got nada. (I bought one for me and my sister) I thanked the nice little man for being nice and willing to work with this whole problem but that I just wanted my money back. So I called Groupon the next day and I tried to hold my temper long enough to get my money back and close my account with them. I explained to the girl who answered what happened and she acted like I was exaggerating and that something like that was inconceivable. She said they could refund my money in 5-7 business days. I was like "You fucking take the money out of my account instantly. Then don't provide me with the services that I bought. And keep steal my money for 3 weeks!!??? That is how you do business? You don't check with the companies and make sure it is legit before you offer these so called deals???" She was stupid and really had nothing to say.

I am just warning you before you get royally screwed like I did. I wouldn't trust either of these companies. I will let you know if I actually do get refunded. In the meantime, my friend has sent all of this to the media and she has already received emails back about it. Stay tuned....