My Life

My Life

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Pregnancy is not becoming of me

I have turned into a lunatic. Well, more than normal. So that's pretty bad....ask my husband. I think I have officially scared him. I am nuts. I can't help it. I have these raging psychotic pregnancy hormones that take control of me and I am just their puppet. They like making me look like a stark raving mad woman with mascara all over her face. 

Examples: 

1) Over Fathers Day weekend there was an Oreo commercial about a little boy waking his Dad up at midnight to enjoy some Fathers Day Oreos. I bawled my effing eyes out. And then proceeded to purchase Oreos the next day. 

2) A few weeks ago I was a stage 365465434357 psycho. I think I had an out of body experience and was watching myself in horror. I got out of the shower and for no reason at all decided to freak out in crying fits and tell my husband I am sorry for ruining his life. I was sobbing and sobbing and the look on his face got more horrified and confused by the second. Then as I was crying I was looking for jammies to put on. I am standing there in my towel and tell him I can't find any clean jammies that fit me. Then, just when you would think it couldn't get worse...my towel dropped to the ground and I fell on the floor and had a melt down like a 2 year old. Ryan patted my shoulder timidly and said "Baby, I don't really know what to do...you are scaring me a little". 

3) Last night after working 8 hours then going to the gym and working out for an hour...I went home and had a relaxing shower. I was all ready to make a delicious dinner my family likes to call Goolash. (I think I actually posted the recipe on here awhile back) and realized I was missing a can of green beans. I asked a friend across the street, but she didn't have any. I asked my sister, but she was busy. I then called my husband who was coaching soccer practice and asked him to bring some home after work. But he wasn't going to be home for 2 hours and I was starving. He said "Babe, why did you call and ask me to bring some home when you need it now and I won't be home until around 8?" I said never mind forget I called I will figure it out. I tried really hard to conceal my frustration and tears. As soon as I got off the phone with him I cried like a little bitch for about 5 minutes until I realized I had no choice, but to go to the store. Then I cried that I had to go to the store. Then I cried because I realized I am fucking crazy. 

Please please let this be over soon. I swear to God if this becomes permanent, I will lose my husband, my friends, and my job. I am like a ticking time bomb where people are afraid to come close because they might catch my crazy virus. I was never this bad with my 1st pregnancy. I am not a mean hormonal pregnant lady. Just one that will cry at the drop of a hat. For no apparent reason. BE PREPARED....you may witness this. If you do...either back away slowly or give me a cookie.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Beauty & the Beast is fucked up

For a present this year I received the Beauty & the Beast soundtrack. My son Gabriel LOVED this movie. I can't even count how many times he watched it. I also love this movie. BUT as I have been listening to the soundtrack over and over...I realized some pretty disturbing shit.

Ok so you know how the Beast answered the door before he was the Beast and it was a "beautiful enchantress" disguised as an old ugly beggar woman? And she asked him for shelter and he turned her away..so then she turned him into the Beast and cursed everyone in the castle as well?

The rose was going to bloom until his "21st year" then by that time if he couldn't love someone and earn her love in return..he and everyone in the castle would be cursed forever. 

WELL.....

In the song "Be Our Guest" Lumierre says "10 years we've been rusting, needing so much more than dusting"

THINK ABOUT THIS SHIT...

If he was 21 when he and Belle fell in love and he has been that way for 10 fucking years...that means he was ELEVEN when he was turned into the Beast.

There are so many things wrong about this..I can't wrap my head around it.

1) Why in the hell is a "prince" answering the door to the castle? Don't they have a butler or servant for that? 

2) Why did the Enchantress come there in the first place? Just to fuck with the rich people there? If she was an enchantress and had the power to curse an entire castle for 10 years..I think she could conjure up a tent and a fire at least.

3) WHERE IN THE HELL ARE THIS KIDS PARENTS? They didn't get cursed and it never mentions them.

4) Why in God's name would this evil psycho PMSing bitch of a witch pick on a little 11 year old kid and turn him into a beast? HE WAS 11 for crying out loud! All 11 year olds are assholes. Especially to ugly people.

5) Why did this stupid crazy whore Enchantress think she needed to teach the prince a lesson? Shouldn't that be his parents job?

6) These writers are idiots. It makes no sense. Obviously a little kid wouldn't catch on to this fucked up story line, but I am sure I am not the only adult that likes this movie. 

Please tell me I am not a crazy person for getting all worked up over a Disney movie.