Merry Christmas Darth

I made the most awesomest snowflake in all of the land. ALL OF THE LAND. Behold:

Here is the link to help you out. It has all sorts of Star Wars templates.
http://www.dudecraft.com/2011/12/star-wars-paper-snowflake-templates.html

Tire blow outs BLOW

This morning was like every morning. Driving to work half asleep and listening to X96 Radio From Hell. I love Carey, Bill, and Gina. All of the sudden I hear a pop and my car starts violently shaking. I freaked the fuck out and started crying like a little whiny baby. I pulled over as best as I could and sat and cried. I called my husband and he was teaching his high school class so I called my brother Kason. He of course was so nice and said "its ok...don't cry" and he said he'd be right there to help me. Thank God for family. I sort of know how to change a tire, but I am not that strong...especially to get off those lug nuts AND I don't know where to put the car lifter thingy. (did that sound way car smart?) So after I got off the phone I just waited on the side of I-15 trying to calm down and stuff.

I was surprised that after 15 minutes from when I pulled over and put on my hazards...not one person stopped to see if I was ok and to try to offer some help. Then a way nice Incident Management dude (from the highway patrol I think) pulled up in a huge truck and said he could help me. So I called my brother and said I was saved! And that he could just go back home. I owe him a big hug though. And so the nice truck guy helped me. He had a huge thick white mustache like Sam Elliot. After I was done I gave him a huge hug and told him thank you.

Here is the damage:

Mother effing limes

I juice every single day. I am a firm believer in the powers of "the juice". It makes me feel healthier, my skin is a lot more clear, I get over sickness faster, or I don't even catch what flu butt hole virus is going around.

Today was like any other day. I got all my veggies and fruits to cut up and juice. I decided it would be delicious to add a lime. Limes and lemons cover up the grossness of celery or cucumber. Well, apparently I did something to piss off the lime because when I cut into it it flew away and the knife sliced right into my poor lil finger. It wouldn't stop bleeding and after awhile I got my mommy/friend Natalie to bandage it for me.

BEHOLD:

Monday likes and dislikes 18

Likes
- When Ryan talks in his sleep and tells me to check my underwear
- When I stop petting Molly and Crockett and they keep pawing at me to get me to keep going
- Vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and Christmas sprinkles!
- Juicing. It's seriously the best thing ever. I feel so much healthier and my ugly ass pizza skin has cleared up
- Getting on the scale every few days and seeing the weight decreasing every time :)

Dislikes
- When Ryan elbows me in the mouth while he is sleeping...then when I scream out in pain...he tells me to check my underwear
- Christmas time food choices at work. I swear to the lord of ass growing tooth decaying foods...every single day at my work there is delicious mouth watering treats sitting around for anyone to eat. I need some huge ass football player to run full speed at me and tackle me every single time I try to grab something. Even if its a chocolate donut with red and green sprinkles that I am pretty sure came from the Goddess bakers of Heaven.

Treasured artwork

My sweet little silly monkey Gabe loved, loved, loved to do crafts. He always came home with stuff he made at school. I had so much of it after awhile so Ryan bought me a big plastic container to store it in. Now, more than ever, I cherish all those little crafts. When I open the container...I get a huge whiff of Elmer's glue and it makes me smile. I love thinking about Gabe coming home with paint on his hands and under his fingernails. Or glitter on his clothes. He is the best little craft maker I have ever seen. I really didn't want to have to open the container whenever I wanted to see his wonderful pieces of artwork. So, I decided I wanted to display them for everyone to see. I found some really cool shelves at Ikea that I can put his framed masterpieces on! They have a little brim on the outside front so the frames can't slide off. As soon as I have it all up, I will post pictures. I am really excited :)

Don't do Christmas cards and make dinner

Tonight I decided I wanted to be a multi tasker. There are many reasons why this was a bad idea:
A) I suck at multi tasking
B) The littlest thing distracts me
C) I have two dogs that ALWAYS want my attention
D) My cat doesn't understand that when there is stuff cooking on the stove that it means it will burn the shit out of her paws

I decided to cook a lovely fish dinner with brown rice and steamed cauliflower AND do my Christmas cards. Take my advice. If your name is Heather Mitchell...don't do that. Ever. I effed up addresses on my envelopes...so if yours looks retarded. Sorry. And I burnt my fish. Do you like char coaled fish? My husband is too nice to tell me it tasted like butthole. I threw mine away. Then as if that wasn't enough, I decided to run a bath and clean our toilets. Again, prob don't do that.

1) Molly likes the taste of bath bubbles...
2) My toilet cleaner exploded and went all over
3) I got pissed and said fuck it and so my toilets are only sort of clean
4) I got butt ass naked, put my foot in the bath, and screamed bloody effing murder. I apparently wasn't paying attention and turned the bath water temp to scolding freaking hot.

So here is what I got tonight: ugly Christmas cards, burnt dinner, half clean and half dirty toilets, a burnt hurty foot, and a dog whose breath smells like bubbles.

Cody & Diana

My youngest brother Cody just proposed to his girlfriend of FOREVER last Saturday. I am so freaking happy. I love them both so so much. Diana is like a sister to me already and one of my best friends. I am so thankful that she will be officially my sister.

Cody texted me early Saturday and asked me to call him when I was up because he had a favor he needed me to do. He asked me to get some candles and rose petals. So I got a bunch of red and white candles and votives and he bought some real rose petals. He decided he would line her whole entry way in her house with the lit candles, put petals all over the floor, turn out the lights, and have their song playing. He stood at the end of the entry way and when she walked in her house all surprised...(she of course freaked out) she walked down to Cody, he got on one knee, took her hand, told her how much he loved her and asked her to marry him. She said yes and now I can't wait for them to get married! I love love love them! I truly believe they are meant for one another. They are perfect together and are going to be the best parents in the whole world (when they are ready...way down the road)

Beauty & The Beast Festival of Trees 2011

I have been talking about Festival of Trees a ton for the last few months. Every single year my family and I decorate a tree in memory of my sweet Gabe and then we donate it to the Festival of Trees. It gets auctioned off and all the proceeds go to Primary Children's Hospital. It's my way of giving Gabe a Christmas present each year while also giving back to that incredible hospital. 

This time of year is always hard for me emotionally. I used to love the holiday season. It's about family. Surrounding yourself with all those you love and cherish. The last 3 Christmases have not been easy for me or my family. The most wonderful happy little boy in the entire world....the reason that all of us are the people that we are...isn't here anymore to spend the holidays with us. This is the hardest time of year other than August. 

Festival of Trees really helps me. Its like therapy for me. I know that my Gabe is right there with me helping me decorate that tree. I know what he will like and won't like and I try to make it the most perfect I can. I want him to be so happy and proud of his tree each year. He is still my life. The light in my heart. In my soul. He is my son and the most wonderful blessing I could have ever hoped for. 

This year we did a Beauty and The Beast theme. Gabe's most favorite movie of all time history is Beauty and The Beast. I swear he could watch it 365 days a year and never ever get sick of it. I really really hope he liked it. We included all of the characters too. Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip, Phillipe, Belle, the Beast, the mirror, the rose... all of it.

My family and I at the Festival of Trees last Saturday

My life. Gabe, Jess, and Ryan

Me and my silly little monkey

Ryan being idiotic

My brother being idiotic

My family and I the day we decorate Gabe's tree

Gabe's tree "Happily Ever After"

I want to have a love child with Forever 21

Forever 21 is my homie. We are actually secretly more than homies. We are lovers. Here is what I am in love with right now:

Fave cereal that makes you poop

I found a cereal that I think tastes pretty good and it has only 60 calories per serving. If you want it sweeter, add 1 packet of Truvia or some Stevia. BEHOLD: Fiber One. I usually cut up a banana and add it to mine. I am eating it right now! For dinner....I am a rebel. A rebel I say!

Monday likes and dislikes 17

Likes
- Festival of Trees decorating day is coming up on the 28th! I can't wait to decorate Gabe's tree and have it all put together. I will be posting pictures of it as soon as it's all up!

- Sugar-free Peppermint Mocha creamer. I love it. It tastes just as good as regular creamer with all the sugar.

- I love watching makeup tutorials online. I am obsessed. I will not be showing you pictures of me from the past when I didn't know how to do my makeup. Let's just say I resembled a cross between bobo the clown and a hooker. Watch Kandee Johnson on YouTube. I love her!

- Vampire Diaries music. I went online on CW's website and they have lists of all the episodes and the songs on them. I have got a few already and I have been getting more and more each day! I think all in all I have about 50 songs I want. And I can pretend to be hanging out with Stefan and Damon while I am listening to them. Link is http://www.cwtv.com/thecw/the-vampire-diaries-music


Dislikes
- Acne. I hate it. I am 26 years old for Hell's sake. Why in the Hell am I still getting it? I eat very very clean and I workout everyday, drink plenty of water, and get plenty of sleep. I wash my face every morning and night. I am so sick and tired of looking like a 13 year old little girl going through puberty. I am not 13 and I have the boobs and hairy vadge to prove it.

- People who purposely look in another direction when you are walking towards them. Like deliberately look down or into the sky or something. I know we are total strangers...but I expect you to reciprocate my nice gesture of smiling to your rude ass!!!!

Friday favorites 7

Today I am struggling to find anything more favorite than sleep. I am sooooo effing tired. I keep falling asleep at work and then when my phone rings I seriously think I am going to have a heart attack at 26 years old. Then when I die I will haunt Stephenie Meyer for the rest of her life! It's her fault I was up until 2:30 am this morning watching Twilight and it's her fault I only got 2 hours of sleep last night.

I have turned into a sleep deprived zombie and all I crave is sleep. I am walking around work moaning "SLLEEEEEEPPPP....must get sleep!!!!!!!!"

Pumpkin Bread recipe

Hey my friends! I made some amazing pumpkin bread last night. It was way easy and really good. Here is the recipe:
Recipe for Pumpkin Bread:
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1/2 cup oil
1 cup pumpkin
1 3/4 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp. cloves
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp allspice
1/3 cup water
1/2 cup nuts (optional)

Directions: Mix sugar, eggs, oil, and pumpkin in a bowl.  Add dry ingredients and water in the order listed above. Mix well. Stir in nuts (if using). Pour into a greased and floured loaf pan and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour or longer if needed. Makes one loaf.

I didn't have any Allspice, so I just made it without it and it turned out fine. Also, I didn't have nuts, but I did have mini chocolate chips. So I added 1/2 cup of those and it made it extra orgasmical for my taste buds.

Quick yummy and healthy snack

Plain Greek yogurt is really good for you. But, it tastes like donkey ass. SO! To make it yummy while eating healthy...sprinkle some sugar free jello in it and mix it up. It tastes way good and it's good for you. Try it! You'll like it! And the brand I like the most for the yogurt is Dannon OIKOS. You can get it at Walmart for a buck.

Friday favorites 6

1) I was on my way home from the grocery store last night and decided to call my Grandma and see how she was doing. I get so so busy just with day to day crap that I often forget about staying in touch with my loved ones. So, I called her and she was, as she put it, flabbergasted. I was happy my call made her so happy, but I was saddened that she was so surprised I called. I love my family and I am thankful for them every single day. I talked to her for a half hour and it was great. I told her we needed to do lunch sometime. So one of my favorites was talking to my Grandma last night. This is a cute picture of my Grandma and Grandpa at their 60th anniversary dinner this year:

  

2) Ryan was asked to play in the faculty vs. students basketball game for his high school tonight. I seriously can't wait! First off, he is the most athletic person I know AND second...he is way hot when he plays sports. I am getting all sweaty just thinking about it. So, I am excited and I am going to take pictures tonight. I just need to remember my camera.

3) I just saw the preview to the remake of 21 Jump Street with Jonah Hill and Mr. Sexy as Hell Channing Tatum. I was laughing so hard when I was watching it. I will be seeing that as soon as it is in theaters. And I don't care if Channing isn't that great of an actor. As long as he keeps taking off his shirt in movies...then I will see every single movie he is in. Amen.

Rustic-ness

I am in love with rustic decor. My dream home would be a cabin. I love exposed wood and wooden beams. I love reclaimed wood. I have wanted a reclaimed wood kitchen table for FOREVER! And I am obsessed with a reclaimed wood accent wall. See these pictures below and you will get why I am stalker obsessed with wood. And by wood I mean wood from a tree...not a man. Pervs.

Monday likes and dislikes 16

Likes
- I like this new "lifestyle change" diet I am on. I have lost 7 pounds in about 2 weeks and I feel so much better! I feel healthier and more alive. I used to get that sluggish feeling and now I feel way more energized and happy. Plus I look better naked. I am starting to get less and less repulsed by my nakedness.

-Festival of Trees is coming up and I can't wait. You really should go! Take your kids or go with some friends. Its so much fun. Plus all the proceeds go to Primary Children's Medical Center. It's November 30th-December 3rd.

Dislikes
- Hang nails. They hurt and burn like a freaking bitch. I hate them. If I could murder hang nails all over the world...I would.

-Putting on a nice fresh pair of clean socks and having my toe pop out of a hole Molly has gladly chewed out of my sock. RIP socks.

-Going to the store, trying on the hip new cool jeans with deliberate holes in the knees. AND putting my foot all the way through the hole and ripping the leg to smithereens. Then hanging them back up like I didn't do anything and running from the store.

Friday favorites 5

1) I discovered this amazing chap stick awhile back at my friends house. At first I was playing with it because I thought it was a toy. Then she tells me that is chap stick and magically opens it. I was amazed! I bought some at Walmart yesterday and it's been love ever since. Its called EOS and it's eco-friendly too!

2) These are my pumpkins from this year. My sweet brother Kason and his gf Ali made me the Little Monkey pumpkin and the painted monkey pumpkin. It made my night when they surprised me last week. I painted the itsy bitsy spider one for my baby and took it to the cemetery for him.

3) The other night playing a new game I learned called Turrets my brother Kason broke our kitchen chair while sitting on it and came crashing to the floor. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Does he look guilty in this picture? I think he does.

4) And finally. As I have mentioned before, Ryan and I are doing a Beauty and the Beast themed tree for Gabe this year for Festival of Trees. Belle loved reading books. The Beast gave her his humongous library as a surprise. The other day we were in Hobby Lobby and I saw this table I wanted to use as a side table next to the tree. It was made of books. I looked at the price tag and threw up in my mouth a little. It was $150! And then I realized it was on sale 30% off. Still, that was over $100. I tried to put it out of my mind and decided to just find something else in my price range. The next day Ryan woke up and said he was going to get some juice at the store. I was asleep still when he got home. He asked me to turn over and look at my cat Jasmine. She was sitting on top of that table! He had gone to the store and bought it for me. I of course freaked out and still cannot stop smiling. And I know Gabe is smiling too. I am so thankful for my wonderful thoughtful husband. I am a very lucky woman indeed.

Happy Halloween!

Here is my Halloween so far. And don't be afraid to tell me how absolutely stunning I am as a homeless man.

Add caption

My fellow homeless friend Natalie

Help! Her family was kidnapped by ninjas! She needs money for karate lessons!

And then here is witches night out a few weekends ago. I was slighty better looking that night.

Me n' Jess

My brother Kasons cutie pie GF Ali

My other brother Cody's lovely GF Diana aka "Dana"

Jess rocking out

My adorable sis Shelby aka "Maria" aka "Maria Sanchez" aka "Sanchez"

Diana's sister Ali looking all spooky

My Mom making a weird face

Cutest witch ever

My cute little Grammie

I hope everyone has a fun and safe Halloween!