1. I seriously get so effing pissed when I go to take a drink out of my water cup and ITS ALL GONE. I feel like I am going to knock down my cubicle and scream at the top of my lungs. How does my water cup get empty so fast? I just fucking filled it up!!??
2. Ryan mentioned this morning as I walked into our bathroom half naked that my bra looks like a "grandma bra". Men want all of us to strut around in sexy slut bras and panties and look like Victorias Secret models. Well, guess what? That bra is the most comfortable ugly bra in the entire world! I'm never taking it off! AND it was $10 at Ross. So kiss my ass.
3. How long have computers been around? 30 years or something? Learn how to navigate a website!!! Its not a mother effing rubik's cube for Hell's sake. It is not my job to teach you where the Esc button is or where the web browser is. Unless you are 80 years old and have dentures. Learn that shit.
4. Working out makes me fart. There is no way around it. If you workout with me or around me...this is your warning.
5. Generic cheese its are 50 billion times better than the real thing and $2 cheaper.
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