Trends are stupid

I have never really been one to follow trends. I like what I like whether its outdated or not the "in" thing. Utah has this weird ass thing about it...when there is a new trend Utahans "beat it to death" as my dear friend Natalie put it. For example: FEATHER EXTENSIONS. If I see another 50 year old woman with a fucking hot pink feather in her hair, I might just die. Are we poultry? Are women wearing them because they are hoping to fly? Or maybe its to spot other birds in your flock. I want to murder this trend. I want to find all the feather extensions and put them in a huge pile, cover them in feces, and then burn them to death.

Jeans, shirts, hats with bling. Basically anything at Buckle. I want to cover Buckle in feces and burn it to death. Unless you are in a beauty pageant or a drag queen, there is no reason for the sequins or fake diamonds that are scattered all over your Affliction or Sinful shirt. Its like a sequin fairy had explosive diarrhea all over your shirt. Let me tell you something...you look stupid.

Jeans with white stitching. Like, huge, white, thick stitching. Again, Buckle probably sells it. Ugliest shit ever. The worst is when women wear these jeans and cuff them. Can I be the voice of reason? Buy effing capris! It looks so idiotic to buy jeans and then have a humongous cuff as thick as a tree trunk. The worst is someone who not only does the cuff, but the jeans are blinged out and have the white stitching. Gag me.

 

Anything Ed Hardy or Christian Audigier. When I see you wearing this kind of stuff, not only do I laugh at you, but it instantly reminds me of the cast of Jersey Shore or John Gosselin. Neither one of those are things you want to look like. Cover yourself in feces and light yourself on fire.

Tank tops over a t-shirt. I know you are trying to be modest or something, but it looks bad. Either wear a tank top or a t-shirt. Not both at the same time. While you're at it, put on some jeans and some shorts.

Okay my readers. Please don't take offense to this post. Just listen to me. It'll be good for you and everyone that has to look at you. Amen.