Merry Christmas Darth

I made the most awesomest snowflake in all of the land. ALL OF THE LAND. Behold:

Here is the link to help you out. It has all sorts of Star Wars templates.
http://www.dudecraft.com/2011/12/star-wars-paper-snowflake-templates.html

Tire blow outs BLOW

This morning was like every morning. Driving to work half asleep and listening to X96 Radio From Hell. I love Carey, Bill, and Gina. All of the sudden I hear a pop and my car starts violently shaking. I freaked the fuck out and started crying like a little whiny baby. I pulled over as best as I could and sat and cried. I called my husband and he was teaching his high school class so I called my brother Kason. He of course was so nice and said "its ok...don't cry" and he said he'd be right there to help me. Thank God for family. I sort of know how to change a tire, but I am not that strong...especially to get off those lug nuts AND I don't know where to put the car lifter thingy. (did that sound way car smart?) So after I got off the phone I just waited on the side of I-15 trying to calm down and stuff.

I was surprised that after 15 minutes from when I pulled over and put on my hazards...not one person stopped to see if I was ok and to try to offer some help. Then a way nice Incident Management dude (from the highway patrol I think) pulled up in a huge truck and said he could help me. So I called my brother and said I was saved! And that he could just go back home. I owe him a big hug though. And so the nice truck guy helped me. He had a huge thick white mustache like Sam Elliot. After I was done I gave him a huge hug and told him thank you.

Here is the damage:

Mother effing limes

I juice every single day. I am a firm believer in the powers of "the juice". It makes me feel healthier, my skin is a lot more clear, I get over sickness faster, or I don't even catch what flu butt hole virus is going around.

Today was like any other day. I got all my veggies and fruits to cut up and juice. I decided it would be delicious to add a lime. Limes and lemons cover up the grossness of celery or cucumber. Well, apparently I did something to piss off the lime because when I cut into it it flew away and the knife sliced right into my poor lil finger. It wouldn't stop bleeding and after awhile I got my mommy/friend Natalie to bandage it for me.

BEHOLD:

Monday likes and dislikes 18

Likes
- When Ryan talks in his sleep and tells me to check my underwear
- When I stop petting Molly and Crockett and they keep pawing at me to get me to keep going
- Vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and Christmas sprinkles!
- Juicing. It's seriously the best thing ever. I feel so much healthier and my ugly ass pizza skin has cleared up
- Getting on the scale every few days and seeing the weight decreasing every time :)

Dislikes
- When Ryan elbows me in the mouth while he is sleeping...then when I scream out in pain...he tells me to check my underwear
- Christmas time food choices at work. I swear to the lord of ass growing tooth decaying foods...every single day at my work there is delicious mouth watering treats sitting around for anyone to eat. I need some huge ass football player to run full speed at me and tackle me every single time I try to grab something. Even if its a chocolate donut with red and green sprinkles that I am pretty sure came from the Goddess bakers of Heaven.

Treasured artwork

My sweet little silly monkey Gabe loved, loved, loved to do crafts. He always came home with stuff he made at school. I had so much of it after awhile so Ryan bought me a big plastic container to store it in. Now, more than ever, I cherish all those little crafts. When I open the container...I get a huge whiff of Elmer's glue and it makes me smile. I love thinking about Gabe coming home with paint on his hands and under his fingernails. Or glitter on his clothes. He is the best little craft maker I have ever seen. I really didn't want to have to open the container whenever I wanted to see his wonderful pieces of artwork. So, I decided I wanted to display them for everyone to see. I found some really cool shelves at Ikea that I can put his framed masterpieces on! They have a little brim on the outside front so the frames can't slide off. As soon as I have it all up, I will post pictures. I am really excited :)

Don't do Christmas cards and make dinner

Tonight I decided I wanted to be a multi tasker. There are many reasons why this was a bad idea:
A) I suck at multi tasking
B) The littlest thing distracts me
C) I have two dogs that ALWAYS want my attention
D) My cat doesn't understand that when there is stuff cooking on the stove that it means it will burn the shit out of her paws

I decided to cook a lovely fish dinner with brown rice and steamed cauliflower AND do my Christmas cards. Take my advice. If your name is Heather Mitchell...don't do that. Ever. I effed up addresses on my envelopes...so if yours looks retarded. Sorry. And I burnt my fish. Do you like char coaled fish? My husband is too nice to tell me it tasted like butthole. I threw mine away. Then as if that wasn't enough, I decided to run a bath and clean our toilets. Again, prob don't do that.

1) Molly likes the taste of bath bubbles...
2) My toilet cleaner exploded and went all over
3) I got pissed and said fuck it and so my toilets are only sort of clean
4) I got butt ass naked, put my foot in the bath, and screamed bloody effing murder. I apparently wasn't paying attention and turned the bath water temp to scolding freaking hot.

So here is what I got tonight: ugly Christmas cards, burnt dinner, half clean and half dirty toilets, a burnt hurty foot, and a dog whose breath smells like bubbles.

Cody & Diana

My youngest brother Cody just proposed to his girlfriend of FOREVER last Saturday. I am so freaking happy. I love them both so so much. Diana is like a sister to me already and one of my best friends. I am so thankful that she will be officially my sister.

Cody texted me early Saturday and asked me to call him when I was up because he had a favor he needed me to do. He asked me to get some candles and rose petals. So I got a bunch of red and white candles and votives and he bought some real rose petals. He decided he would line her whole entry way in her house with the lit candles, put petals all over the floor, turn out the lights, and have their song playing. He stood at the end of the entry way and when she walked in her house all surprised...(she of course freaked out) she walked down to Cody, he got on one knee, took her hand, told her how much he loved her and asked her to marry him. She said yes and now I can't wait for them to get married! I love love love them! I truly believe they are meant for one another. They are perfect together and are going to be the best parents in the whole world (when they are ready...way down the road)

Beauty & The Beast Festival of Trees 2011

I have been talking about Festival of Trees a ton for the last few months. Every single year my family and I decorate a tree in memory of my sweet Gabe and then we donate it to the Festival of Trees. It gets auctioned off and all the proceeds go to Primary Children's Hospital. It's my way of giving Gabe a Christmas present each year while also giving back to that incredible hospital. 

This time of year is always hard for me emotionally. I used to love the holiday season. It's about family. Surrounding yourself with all those you love and cherish. The last 3 Christmases have not been easy for me or my family. The most wonderful happy little boy in the entire world....the reason that all of us are the people that we are...isn't here anymore to spend the holidays with us. This is the hardest time of year other than August. 

Festival of Trees really helps me. Its like therapy for me. I know that my Gabe is right there with me helping me decorate that tree. I know what he will like and won't like and I try to make it the most perfect I can. I want him to be so happy and proud of his tree each year. He is still my life. The light in my heart. In my soul. He is my son and the most wonderful blessing I could have ever hoped for. 

This year we did a Beauty and The Beast theme. Gabe's most favorite movie of all time history is Beauty and The Beast. I swear he could watch it 365 days a year and never ever get sick of it. I really really hope he liked it. We included all of the characters too. Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip, Phillipe, Belle, the Beast, the mirror, the rose... all of it.

My family and I at the Festival of Trees last Saturday

My life. Gabe, Jess, and Ryan

Me and my silly little monkey

Ryan being idiotic

My brother being idiotic

My family and I the day we decorate Gabe's tree

Gabe's tree "Happily Ever After"

I want to have a love child with Forever 21

Forever 21 is my homie. We are actually secretly more than homies. We are lovers. Here is what I am in love with right now: