Monday likes and dislikes

I decided on the way to work today that I was going to do something fancy on Mondays. Instead of just writing whatever...I am going to name my likes and dislikes at the moment. Monday funday! I will probably piss people off or offend them because I am going to throw out some things that I am sure people I know do. Ask me if I give a care? The answer will always be no. I obviously don't want to hurt peoples feelings, but I am a honest and sometimes a brutally blunt person. Take it or leave it bitches.

LIKES
-Neil Young. He is just what I need on a hard day.
-Crockett. I love how he crawls in bed with me and puts his paw around me and spoons me.
-When Ryan rubs lotion on his ripped abs after showering
-The Batman coffee mug I bought Ryan. When I use it I feel super!
-Tanning. It makes me warm and happy.
-Finding old pictures of my ex husband and ripping them up and throwing them away. I'd wipe my butt with them but it wasn't dirty.
-Game of Thrones. It's an awesome addicting show and Drogo is HOT

DISLIKES
-Parents that name their kids the weirdest names or give their kids a typically normal name and spell it all fucked up and stupid. Examples of the first type: Apple, Bluebell, Moon, Corduroy, Pilot, Urijah

Apple is a effing fruit...not a person. Bluebell is a dog food or something. Moons belong in the sky not on the right corner of your kids report card. Corduroy is a fabric. Pilot is someone that flies a plane. And Urijah sounds like a disease, an infection, or a infectious disease.

If you want to name your offspring something simple like Maria. Don't get all artsy and spell it Mahreeah. That looks freaking stupid and it makes me want to have diahreeah. (yes, I know I spelled that wrong) Or here is an example of a boy. Let's say you like the name Braden for your bundle of joy. Do not for any reason spell it Braidyne. I will personally come to your house and kick your ass.

-Rap. Did all rappers fail grammar class? Or do they write their songs that way for the sake of rhyming? I don't care either way. Also, rappers are sluts. I don't like sluts.

-Dog hair all over my bedding, couch, and clothes. Molly sheds so much. It's so bad I want to follow her around with a lint roller and swipe it on anything she touches. I have to vacuum at least twice a day. Not joking. There needs to be a shampoo or some highly scientific elixir that I can put in to a shampoo to make her not shed. Crockett never sheds. Because I love Molly I will deal with it. But it blows snot chunks.

-Lesbians that act like they are hardcore with a capital "H". You are not a man. I am sure you wish you were a man, but that doesn't give you an excuse to act really hard and cool and too cool. You are 100 pounds and I could bench press you.

-Lastly, the stupid dirty bitch at my work who wipes her long snot rockets all over the inside walls of the bathroom stall, sticks her bloody pad wrapper on the wall or on the handle of the feminine products trash can, and splashes her explosive shit attacks all over the inside and outside of the toilet and leaves it there.

If any of you do any of the above dislikes...I suggest you stop them now.