My Life

My Life

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Thursdays

Thursdays blow. Not like Mondays...or a prostitute. But they do blow. It's soooo close to Friday, but not just yet. They piss me off. And here is what has happened to me so far this Thursday. 

1) Someone in my office (bless their lil heart) makes the shittiest coffee ever. Have you ever gone to the coffee machine, noticed it was 90% full, and poured it all out so you can make it the way you like it? I have. I just did. I am not ashamed and I don't care who knows it. I make the best effing coffee ever. Like prob ever. I need to own my own coffee shop. I am not telling you the name either. Because then you will steal it. It's that good. 

2) I got crop dusted so fucking bad today. Either this guy was saving up 1,000 farts after eating 1,000 pieces of broccoli OR he shit his pants and was walking as cool as he could, but inside was crying for his Mommy and needed to get home ASAP. I'm pretty positive he shit his pants. I would bet money on it. 

3) Put on a pair of my panties that I wore when I was 20 pounds lighter. They are constricting my sides and I am going to need stitches to seal up the wound. But this morning I was like fuck it I am tired. 


2 comments:

  1. Heather!!!
    Check out this link about douche bags:

    http://theberry.com/2012/05/31/and-the-d-bag-award-goes-to-21-photos/

    Scroll down to picture 19.
    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
    Your welcome! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You made my WHOLE effing year. Like I am so happy that their douchebagness is displayed for the whole world to see.

      Delete