Truck drivers beware

As I was tiredly driving myself to work this morning I was suddenly woken up by an intense jolt of anger and determination. Some huge douche lord in a ginormous truck was weaving in and out of traffic going at least 15 mph over the speed limit. Well, man in a huge truck...with a little penis cut me off then like three other people in front of me. I was so pissed. Like beyond pissed. How dare you scare the living shit out of me while I am minding my own business, listening to Radio From Hell, and drinking my coffee. I wanted to follow him. And trust me...I have done it before. But, here was the problem. Mr. tool bag was driving way way fast and out of control. I wasn't about to drive like that and risk spilling my coffee. I mean, I paid $1.47 for it.

So, instead I decided to say a prayer to the Lord above that he would make this mans wenis fall off today out of no where. He'll be chillin at work and all of the sudden he'll be like "woah woah woah! did my penis just fall off?" Yeah dude, it did.

My husband drives a huge truck. He seems like a pretty decent driver. But, I swear to baby Jesus that if he starts driving like the man without his wiener, I will punch him straight in the face. I mean, what if someone also says a prayer that HIS penis falls off? Then what good would he be?

All I am saying is that anyone driving a huge lifted truck needs to practice safe driving. Oh! And if you drive a truck and you have those testicles hanging from the back of it...I will personally see to it that you have your own testicles hanging from your rear view mirror.