Moley, Moley, Moley

I have had a mole on my back close to my right shoulder blade all my life. My friend gave me the idea the other day to go get it looked at. She had just gotten one removed on her chest. I decided to take a better look at my moley companion and realized a few things.

1. It's gotten bigger
2. It's an ugly effer
3. I would rather remove it than risk anything.
4. Even if there was nothing wrong with it, I still wanted it removed. It was big and ugly.

So, I made an appointment with a doctor and went in yesterday. She said that she was pretty positive the tests on it would come back normal, but that it did look different from what a normal healthy mole should look like. Especially if I have noticed that it's grown. So she cut that fucker off. And the thought of her cutting it off didn't bug me or scare me one bit. Let me tell you something about me. I have a huge phobia of needles. But only hypodermic needles. Tattoo guns are totally different. I purposely avoid flu shots every year because I hate them so much. I recently had my wisdom teeth out and had to go to an oral surgeon. I was going to be put out (which means I would have to get an IV). I immediately started breathing heavy, my heart started going nuts, my hands were sweating profusely.

I was like one of the kids in the back seat on a road trip saying "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" But I was asking the nurses, "When are you putting in the needle? Will it hurt? How much longer before you put the IV in? Can I have some paper towels for my hands? When are you putting in the needle?"

So yesterday I knew she had to numb up my back. I tensed up and balled my hands into fists to brace myself for what was about to happen. She was like " Okay, just relax. I am going to squeeze the skin around your mole for some pressure while I numb you up. Don't hold your breath. Don't pass out." I WAS holding my breath! I DID feel like I was going to pass out. I was trying so hard to act like a big girl and act like it was nothing, but obviously she could tell  I was a big ass pansy.

I told her the pain of the needle doesn't bother me. Not even the fact that she is using a razor blade thing to cut off my mole. What freaks me the eff out is knowing what she is doing back there with the needle. Inserting this cold, hard, steel, pointy, not belonging anywhere near my skin, tool from Hell thing. She put me through it THREE TIMES! I had to get THREE EFFING SHOTS to numb the area. I would have much rather had her punch me in the face to knock me out. Or I would have been willing to run full speed into the wall and knock myself out. I guess they don't let people do it. Something about medical procedures and liability insurance.

But, it did end! I was numb and she cut Mr Mole out. Now I have a hole in my back and a bandage covering it up. I can't get it wet for 1 day which means I couldn't shower last night. I feel filthy and hurty. The place where the mole was is directly underneath my bra strap. So wearing a bra to work today BLOWS.