Monday likes and dislikes 5

I hope you all had a lovely weekend! Mine had it's ups and downs.

Likes
- Coffee. I could have a love affair with coffee if it had the right anatomy. 
-Banana cream pie from Marie Calendars. She is one bad ass bitch. She makes the best freaking pies. I want to marry her. 
-My bed. If you need a new mattress then go to Ikea. Also get the extra pad that goes on top. It's like sleeping on a beautiful cloud in Heaven.
- Laying out. Since I don't live in Hawaii, I like to play the game of pretend. I close my eyes, get an alcoholic beverage, pay my husband (in sexual favors)to wear a grass skirt and play with fire sticks, put a sound track of the ocean on, and have a jolly good time. But actually I am lying and I just lay out at a friends community condo pool. 
- Waking up to my Crockett sitting on the bed next to me wanting a big hug :) 

Dislikes
- Steam cleaning my carpet.
-Steam cleaning my carpet and Molly deciding it would be like totally awesome to take a massive stinky shit right next to me. 
- Steam cleaning my carpet, Molly shitting next to me, me going ape shit and saying the fuck word 3103541564645 times, Molly getting scared and stepping in her own feces and smooshing it into my carpet and then running all over getting it all over. 
-Having my freshly steam cleaned carpets smell like the Hogle Zoo
- Realizing my Mormon neighbors are outside with their kids and my front door was open the entire time.