Cracked out crack head

I needed some Spanx. I am a curvy girl. I need me some Spanx. So I went shopping on my break for some. When I got back to my work  I got out of my car and a guy passes me. He says "Don't worry. I have stupid fucking tattoos too." I whip my head around in shock and say "Excuse me?" Crack head says to me "You heard me. I have stupid pointless fucking tattoos too." I was seriously so caught off guard. I said "First of all, my tattoos aren't stupid and most definitely aren't pointless. And I didn't ask your opinion." Then he starts screaming ''YOUR TATTOOS ARE IRRELEVANT!!!" I just couldn't believe this was happening. Is this real life? I basically just told him to go to hell and I walked inside my work building. I wanted to knock him the eff out. Lucky for him I was wearing a short dress and 5 inch heels. Bastard.

It gets better.

So I am sitting at my desk stewing over this asshole. After freaking out on me, he walked to the Walmart right by my work. I watched out my work window for him to see if he came back this way. Maybe he worked in my building. I was planning on getting him in trouble with his boss or something.

He did come back and his car was parked right in front of the building outside my window. He sat in there for about 10 minutes and then got out. He proceeded to open his front door and close it then open his back door and close it over and over. My co-workers and I were like "what in the hell is he doing?" He was definitely on something. Then he pulls out a bag and puts it on his trunk. The bag falls and some salads fall out. We watched him scoop the salad back in the container and put the lid back on and put it all back in the bag. Then he pulls out another bag from his car and we realize as he is walking towards the building that it is our office lunch order for our meeting!!!!!

I think about it for a minute...I got back from my break at 11:45 am when he freaked out on me. Then he got back from Walmart and didn't bring the food inside until around 12:20. So our food had been sitting in over 90 degree weather for like 40 minutes. Not to mention he spilled it on the ground and scooped up the food that fell and put it back.

I got my manager and he got the girl who placed the order. We called the owner of the restaurant. I told him everything that happened from the crazy rant he made to me and then leaving the food in his hot car forever and then dropping it on the ground. We got a whole new order and he got fired :)

It gets better.

I was outside that day at work right in front of the doors. A gust of wind came. I was wearing a dress. And yes, it blew my ENTIRE dress up. Like over my face. I was screaming and trying to put it down. 3 people that work in my office walked out ( all men) right when it happened. They started laughing and clapping. THANK GOD FOR SPANX. What if I didn't wear them that day and they saw my bare ass? That would've been horrible for them. They would've been scarred for life.

That was my day. But I got to see Tim McGraw that night. I wonder if he likes spanx.

Wrong number...wanna hang out?

Yesterday morning I had a missed call from a number I didn't know. I decided to call it back because I am selling a few things on ksl. This is how the conversation went:
Me: I had a missed call from this number about a half hour ago
Him: Hmmm, I don't remember. What is your name?
Me: Heather
Him: What's your last name?
Me: Mitchell
Him: Did you go to Brighton
Me: Uhhh no.
Him: Hmmm I don't know. Sorry, I guess I dialed the wrong number
 Me: Ok, bye.

Then like 5 minutes later he decided to text me.

Him: Sorry about that LOL
Me: It's ok
Him: You sound familiar...how old are you?
Me: 28
Him: Do you live in SLC?

At this point I decide to mess with him because I am immature and bored.

Me: No
Him: Do you party or like to go out?
Me: Noooooo, I just had a baby and I am depressed and old and saggy. Do you want to take me out????
Him: 28 isn't old. I am 27 and feel young.
Me: Well, I am a single mom of 6 kids and I have to strip to make a living. But, all I want to do is my dream of being a baton twirler.

After that he never texted me back. I think I took it too far with the baton twirling...