Wisdom teeth suck

I hate wisdom teeth. There is no reason for them and they don't give me more wisdom. Trust me, I know a lot about wisdom. Here is the story about my adventure in wisdom teeth.

There once was an attractive fun girl named Heather Mitchell. She loved her teeth. She did everything she should do to keep them nice looking. She got braces, a retainer, a permanent retainer, she brushed, flossed, and rinsed with mouth wash twice daily. She also whitened her teeth and made them shine like Zeus's hair.

As Heather got older she realized this shooting pain in the back of her mouth. Then she noticed teeth were growing! Could it be? She had more teeth!?? Eventually all of her stupid wisdom teeth came in....except for one. She liked to call him Hitler. He was turned on his side and impacted. He caused her lots of pain and discomfort.

Heather's husband Ryan (who happened to be the sexiest man alive) had an old mission companion that was a dentist. Heather and Ryan drove a long ways to Price to get her two top wisdom teeth pulled for FREE 99. Heather was awake and just was numbed a lot. She seriously almost puked in the Mormon dentists face when she heard her teeth cracking and smelled that nasty ass tooth smell. The dentist instructed her that Hitler had to be taken out by an oral surgeon and the other little wisdom tooth dude could stay. Heather went home high as a kite on pain killers and Ryan took good care of her because he loved her.


THEN! One dark and stormy night, Hitler started acting up. He caused Heather much pain and discomfort. Heather decided once and for all she would rid herself of this Nazi loving tooth. She called her local dentist who happened to be way nice and she liked him as much as she could like any evil pointy object wielding dentist. He told her that Hitler was rubbing on her other teeth and causing bone loss! BONE LOSS!  Holy flying pancakes and sausages!

This was terrible terrible news for Heather to receive. She loved her teeth and her bones. Heather made an appointment with a highly recommended oral surgeon. He was VERY TALL. VERY TALL. And for a dentist, his breath stunk. Heather hoped he wasn't a smoker. Smokers can't be trusted with teeth. If they cared about their teeth like she did, they wouldn't be smoking. None the less, he seemed smart and well educated in the process of Hitler tooth removal. She decided to make an appointment to get the bastard out of her mouth once and for all.

Heather Mitchell is getting her two leftover wisdom teeth taken out Friday May 6th. Wish her luck. She also decided she might save the teeth to put under her pillow. She heard the tooth fairy is DWAYNE JOHNSON AKA: THE ROCK and that he pays extra money for wisdom teeth.